


Some Other Beginning's End

by black_tea



Series: The Masks We Wear [5]
Category: Mindhunter (TV 2017)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Completely Consensual, Divorce, Established Relationship, M/M, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, S2E9/Post Season, Sexual Content, alpha!Bill Tench, omega!Holden Ford
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:22:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_tea/pseuds/black_tea
Summary: Bill has been burning the candle at both ends, and it's his marriage with Nancy that goes up in flames. Big endings hurt, but they also make way for new beginnings.
Relationships: Holden Ford/Bill Tench, Wendy Carr & Bill Tench
Series: The Masks We Wear [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803040
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	1. Things Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Updates on Tuesday.

It was the day after the Manson interview and the first time Bill came rushing home for Brian's appointment with the psychiatrist. He missed his first flight, had to take a red eye into DC, and left Holden to interview Tex Watson alone. He hoped that leaving Holden to his own devises wasn't a mistake, but then again, this time Bill himself was the one clearly struggling. He wasn't going to be much good as long as he worried about making it home in time. Which he did...almost.

He apologized to Dr. Moritz who warned him not to be late for Brian's caseworker, but quickly dropped the infraction and moved on. He wanted to know about Bill, what he did, how often he was away from home.

“You interviewed Charles Manson?” Moritz asked, sounding genuinely impressed. While he might have smoothed over his late entrance with the good doctor, Bill didn't need to be able to smell Nancy to know she wasn't happy with the direction the questions had taken. She never liked making what he did for a living a topic of conversation, and she was desperate to show Moritz what she thought he wanted to see. A nice normal family.

He studied Bill for a moment. “You're both betas, I take it?” By the way Moritz was regarding him combined with the question, he clearly saw something in Bill that marked him as different. It was a fair observation. While he _could_ have been a beta, his bearing and build were common alpha traits.

“No, I'm an alpha.” Bill said with a smile, a little curious as to what, if anything, the doctor would say.

“Interesting. That's unusual, you've been married for awhile too.”

This confused Nancy and put her on the defensive. “Does it matter what my husband is? It doesn't affect our marriage or Brian.” Bill winced inwardly. _It affects everything, but you have no way of knowing just how much._ His wife's ignorance saddened him a little. _Does she really think I'm just a beefed up beta? But it's not like I've ever really talked to her about it either._ If Bill were being honest with himself, he would have to admit that he helped create the problem. 

Moritz shared Bill's line of thinking. “Mrs. Tench, having a secondary gender has wide reaching ramifications on a person's life, especially their relationships.” Nancy glanced at Bill, more uncomfortable now than with Manson. 

“I'm here to help Brian, and that naturally involves his parents and their home life. I don't mean to make you ill at ease. The information you give me now can help me understand your son.” His tone was reassuring, but Nancy didn't seem reassured.

* * *

Bill was exhausted - physically and emotionally exhausted. Running back and forth from Atlanta for Brian's appointments with Moritz, the pressure of the job, the needs of his wife and child, and the needs of his mate all weighed on him. He had too many balls in the air, and something was in danger of being dropped. _I need out of this marriage._ The thought had intruded more and more over the past few months. The problem was, he didn't know how – not with Brian suffering from one traumatic event already. What would breaking up the family unit do to his son? _But can I function as a decent father when I'm being pulled in so many directions?_ He had no illusions about his parenting skills. He loved his son, but he struggled to relate to him and had no good examples of fatherhood to help him navigate Brian's problems.

He let himself in and walked through the house in search of Nancy and eventually found her sitting outside with a cigarette. He sat down next to her and lit one of his own. She immediately began talking about the upcoming move. A move that Bill hadn't been planning to take. A new neighborhood might assuage some of his wife's discomfort, but it wasn't going to fix anything. It was a band-aid at best, and pulling Brian out of school and starting him somewhere else partway through the year wasn't going to ease the stress on their son.

“I gave him a bath today, and it felt like having my beautiful boy back,” Nancy said. Her voice was wistful and Bill felt a pang on her behalf. He didn't want to be married to her anymore, but he didn't want to see her suffer either.

She turned to face him more squarely, the wistfulness passing away and turning to something harder. “Bill, why didn't you tell me about your partner?”

Bill, caught completely off guard, felt his insides go cold and then hot. _Does she know we're sleeping together? How could she possibly know?_ For all he wanted out of the marriage, he didn't want it to end like that. However, Nancy continued before he could say something self incriminating.

“That he's an omega. You had to have known that – you can smell them, right?”

“Yes, but it isn't something he likes to make a big deal about. When I first met him he was dating a girl. You remember Debbie.” Bill pointed out. It was all true as far as it went. “How do you know? You can't smell him.” _And you never see him anyway. Just one dinner party and occasionally when he's picked me up for work._

Nancy fell silent for a moment. “He was waiting for you, and happened to say good morning to one of the neighbors. Who happens to be an alpha.”

“For fucks sake. Really? Which neighbor is that nosy?” Bill groaned inwardly. It would figure that Holden would talk to the one alpha on his street. 

Nancy looked stern as she ashed her cigarette with a sharp aggressive movement. “That's not the point. I'm your wife not one of Holden's coworkers. You could have told me, but didn't.”

“I'm sorry, Nance. I probably should have, but it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. And I'm sorry that you had to find out from neighbors who clearly have too much time on their hands.”

“Well, all the more reason to move,” she said primly. Nancy stubbed out the remains of her cigarette. “You're in charge of Brian tonight – feed him dinner, put him to bed. I'm going out. I need to get out for a little while.” And with that she stalked off.

* * *

The next time Bill came home, it was to an empty house. It wasn't that his wife and child were out, the space was stripped bare with the exception of the sofa Nancy had been complaining about. Bill looked around, shocked and bewildered. He walked slowly from room to room and found nothing but his clothes and a few personal items that Nancy and Brian would have no need for. He made his way back to the living room and sat down heavily on the old sofa.

Yes, he wanted out. Yes, he knew that Nancy was frustrated with him and struggling. But he didn't expect...this. Now that he was back home, he had fully planned to take the time off that Nancy had been begging for to try and sort through the situation. That meant some painful discussions, but it was time, past time. He hadn't expected something this sudden and dramatic. He knew that he wasn't the only one unhappy. After all, there had been issues bubbling under the surface of their marriage for years. He didn't realize she felt so strongly that she would leave without a discussion. _Does she really not want to talk to me about this? Does she suspect infidelity?_ He could understand how that might push her over the edge. _Or is this all about me not being here?_ He would like to know, but that was the point of actually talking things out.

He sat for a long while, until the afternoon sun began to mellow and wane. A ball of conflicting emotions sat in his stomach. Relief that he had an out from a failing marriage he didn't want, guilt for feeling relieved, and concern that he didn't know where Brian was. _Was I the source of all of our problems? Is that why she felt like she had to up and run?_ He knew logically that where ever she had decided to move to, it couldn't be far since she was well established in Fredricksburg and had a small child. And as angry as Nancy might be, it would be unlike her to just drop everything. She would want to contact him to work out details at the very least.

_Where am I going to sleep?_ He patted the sofa he was sitting on, and winced at the back pain it was likely to incur. _Maybe I should get a motel room for the night._ He was tired of motel rooms. Then he remembered that Holden had given him his spare key. He dug around in his pocket for his keys and isolated the one he wanted, considering. He decided to call first. While he doubted that his mate would care if he wanted to spend the night at his place, it seemed rude to not ask. 

_At least she left a phone..._ He had no idea whether or not Holden would be there. He looked again at the fading light trickling in through the windows. _Probably not yet._ He left a message for Holden to call him back at his place and went to pack some clean clothes.

Bill let himself into the quiet of Holden's apartment. It had the empty, waiting feel of a home whose occupant had been gone for sometime, and it felt odd being there without the omega. Not sure what to do with himself, he set his suitcase down in the bedroom. This room felt more welcoming. His mate's scent still clung to the bedding, and there were good memories in this room. He sat for awhile trying to make sense of what had happened, but his brain refused to work on the problem. Instead he went poking around his mate's living space. It wasn't as if he hadn't been there countless times before, but never without Holden himself. 

The apartment had the spare look of a space lived in by a single man who spent a lot of time working, made more austere by his relentless neatness. If he had to peg Holden, it wouldn't have been as a neat freak. The man organized his closet by color and actually folded his socks. Bill wondered if it was a natural tendency, or if it had been drilled into him at some point in the past. He opened the refrigerator and found it mostly empty, since Holden had been in Atlanta for some time. There was one container of something...questionable that Bill decided would be folly to open. With nothing better to do, he decided to make a run to the grocery. It would at least give him a task to accomplish – he wasn't ready to concentrate on what had happened. There were too many conflicting emotions, and weariness still plagued him. He grabbed the necessities and headed back.

Twenty minutes later the phone rang. “Bill? Is everything OK?”

Bill sighed, trying to decide if it was or wasn't. “It's...Nancy's up and left. I came back to an empty house and was hoping I could sleep at your place. It's either that or the sofa or floor back at the home.”

“Of course, you're always welcome. I gave you a key for a reason. By empty you mean completely empty?” 

Bill felt at least some relief at that. “Thank you. Yes, everything but my clothes, a few odds and ends and the sofa she wanted to get rid of. I'm assuming she'll get in contact with me sooner rather than later. Until then...” His voice trailed off. He couldn't really do anything until then. There were a lot of loose ends to tie up, but it would take both him and Nancy together to take care of those. “Anyway, don't worry about me. This has been coming for awhile, and now I'm not stuck sleeping on the floor. Focus on the job, and I'll see you soon.” He had probably given Holden a cheerier version of his mental state than he actually felt. But he didn't need Holden distracted, and more than anything Bill needed rest.

He found it didn't feel unnatural to be there, and he slept all right with the remains of his mate's pheromones clinging to the pillows and bedding. He readied for work in the morning and realized that though it was Friday, he had no way of meeting Nancy and Brian for the appointment with Moritz. He had no idea where they were. This worried him for Brian's sake – it had been made clear both parents had to comply. He wondered what Nancy was going to tell Moritz or what the psychiatrist would say to this. _Is she going to claim I'm sleeping with Holden? I am, but she doesn't know that. Or is this about my being gone too much, not being supportive enough?_

“You look terrible. Is everything OK?” Wendy asked after stepping into his office and getting a good look at him. “Did Holden get himself into trouble?”

“Holden has things under control. With any luck, he'll be home in a few days.” He took a deep breath. “Can I buy you a drink after work? It's Nancy, things aren't good.” 

“Or course.”

Wendy had a glass of wine and Bill had a whiskey on the rocks. He took a sip to fortify himself. He knew he needed to talk to someone about this, and Wendy had it more together than most. “Nancy left.” There was something about saying the words out loud. Suddenly the weight of the entire situation felt more real and frightening.

“I'm so sorry, what happened?”

“I came home yesterday to an empty house. A completely empty house minus the couch she always hated and my clothes. Holden's letting me use his apartment for the time being, so I don't have to sleep on the sofa or the floor.” He lit a cigarette, noticing the measuring look Wendy gave him.

“Holden. You have a key?”

Bill suddenly realized how that probably sounded, and wasn't sure if he should attempt to cover his tracks or let Wendy guess at the truth. _That's if she hasn't suspected anyway._  
They had always been discreet, but Wendy noticed things. Small things. “Yeah.” 

She took a sip of wine then sat forward, face serious, but not angry or judgmental. “Bill, I have to ask. Are you and Holden?”

“What? Together?” He paused trying to grab at how to respond. He didn't like the idea of lying to Wendy. _It will just makes things worse later._ The same advice he had given to Holden about Debbie. “Yes.”

She seemed satisfied with the answer. “I thought you were, but I wasn't sure and didn't want to ask.”

“No lecture about infidelity or workplace romance?” He half joked, because he couldn't blame her if she did.

“No. I'm aware enough of the mechanics of how alphas and omegas mate and form bonds to not be surprised. I'd probably be more surprised if you hadn't.” She eyed him over her wine glass. “To be honest, it's probably better for Holden's mental health.”

“I sense a but.”

“I'm concerned about Gunn's reaction, if he finds out.”

Bill stubbed out the remains of his cigarette in the ash tray adding to the ash and bits of straw wrapper that already graced it's surface. “Honestly? I don't think Ted cares. If it helps keep Holden on the right path, he'll turn a blind eye. He's also an alpha himself.”

“While that may be true, that's only the case until too many other people complain.” Wendy pointed out. “I don't know what the Bureau would do in this instance. They can't demand an alpha/omega couple break up, but they may not be comfortable with a pair working too closely together. One of you might end up reassigned.”

“That's why we're being discreet. Neither of us wants to test the system.”

This seemed to satisfy Wendy. “Is this the reason Nancy left?”

“No, or not entirely. She doesn't know we've been sleeping together. She did find out he was omega and seemed uncomfortable about it, but I think that was just one more straw. There have been problems with Brian, and I've not been there like she's needed me to be. But I couldn't drop everything here – it was already a risk leaving Holden on his own for three days a week.” As Bill talked his problems out with Wendy, he realized that the iceberg he had crashed his marriage into was big and went deep. 

“The truth is, we've been having issues off and on for years. Before I even met Holden, before this thing with the BSU really took off. There were cracks in the foundation, and all the recent additional pressure...”

“What will you do if she changes her mind, or didn't intend this to be final?”

_An easy question._ “There is no going back. Our marriage has been dead in the water for awhile now, it just took me this long to realize. It's ironic. I gave Holden so much grief over not telling Debbie what he was and dating betas, and I married one and told myself it was a different situation. It wasn't. She might have known that I was an alpha, but she never really understood what that meant. And I fooled myself into thinking this was going to work. I loved her, but I can't love her the way I do a mate.”

“Of course not. You aren't made that way.” She considered what Bill had told her. “As painful as this is for both of you, it may well be healthier in the long run. You need to live as an alpha, and she needs someone who can love her completely.”

“I don't know what she wants to do with the house. She had wanted to move anyway – I don't know if I'm keeping it, or if we'll sell it and split the money.” His mind wandered to one of the larger concrete issues.

“I'm sure you'll hear from her soon. Either way, you won't be out on the street.”

Maybe it was just the alcohol in his system, but he felt a little lighter. “Thanks Wendy.”

She smiled. “My advice – take it easy. You don't have to make any big decisions right away. Get some rest, talk it over with Holden when he gets back.”

* * *

The phone rang, and it felt odd answering it. _It's probably Holden. Or maybe his parents. That would be interesting._ “Hello?”

“Bill? Good, how are you doing?” Holden's voice sounded tired over the line.

“I'm OK. Had a drink and talked things out with Wendy. Thanks for letting me stay here.”

“Of course. You're always welcome. We're wrapping up here – I should be back tomorrow, but it's probably going to be late.”

They didn't talk long, the omega sounded half asleep. _Atlanta has been hard on him too. It was easy for me to forget when I was so wrapped up with Nancy and Brian._ The thought of his son brought up an unsettled feeling, but he tried to set it aside and take Wendy's advice. He had no doubt Nancy would get in contact with him within the next few days. They could deal with it then.

He spent the next day poking around Holden's apartment. He drove over to his own house to collect any mail. He both hoped and dreaded Nancy would try to contact him. _She can always reach me at work._ He reminded himself. Being at the house was strange. It had once been full of life, and now it was just an empty shell. Maybe he could breath life back into it with Holden, or maybe it would end up a home for some other family.

Bill had been asleep for a little over an hour when he was pulled awake by the bed dipping and one arm and one leg being thrown over him. He sleepily reached up to caress his mate's arm. “Sorry, I was trying not to wake you up.” Holden whispered.

_By lying half on top of me?_ Bill smiled in the darkness. “It's OK, baby.” He murmured. “Glad you're home.”


	2. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bill makes contact with Nancy, and he and Holden take the logical next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Tuesday again already. Maybe it's an odd day to update, but it's kind of a meh day for me, so I might as well give myself something to look forward to (I say look forward to and not panic about, since I've written so far ahead - ah quarantine).

When Bill woke the next morning, sunlight was creeping around the curtain. Somehow he had ended up on his back with Holden cuddling him like a giant teddy bear. Trapped half underneath a sleeping omega, he allowed himself to relax and enjoy the moment of closeness with his mate. Holden's shirt had gotten rucked up in the night, and Bill's hand rested on warm skin. He absently petted his exposed back.

Coming home to a house utterly stripped of life had left him adrift, but having the freedom to wake up next to Holden was nice. He was no longer being pulled in two directions, no longer in danger of being broken in two. Bill turned his head kiss Holden's hair. He reflected that in some ways he had been given a gift. _Don't get too far ahead of yourself_. He didn't know how angry Nancy was, or what the arrangement with their son would be. And he and Holden needed to have a serious talk about the future.

Bill shifted experimentally. His body demanded that he answer the call of nature, but Holden had him trapped. He carefully eased out from underneath the sleeping body. Holden grumbled drowsily, and curled up in the warm spot Bill had just vacated. Bill let the omega sleep. He himself had managed to catch up on rest over a few days without travel and without family difficulties. _Immediate family difficulties,_ he corrected himself. He made his way to the kitchen and began rooting around through the cupboards. Holden was organized enough that it hadn't taken Bill long to figure out his way around the apartment, and he made himself coffee and toast and settled in to wait for his mate to appear.

Holden emerged about an hour later, rumpled from sleep. He wandered over and sat down next to Bill, leaning against the alpha. He yawned. “Sleep OK?”

Bill slid his arm around his mate's body and pulled him close. “Yeah, I've slept fine here. Thanks for letting me stay.”

“Of course.” He sat quietly for a few minutes. “How are you doing? With your family?”

“I've had a few days to think about things, and I'm all right. It was a big ending, and big endings always hurt, but it needed to end. We weren't in a good situation. I'm hoping she'll call work tomorrow. There are things we have to discuss.” He sighed. It wasn't a conversation he looked forward to, and he didn't really know what to expect.

* * *

Bill's desk phone rang, and he glanced at the clock.4:45. “Bill Tench.” He had a feeling he knew who was on the other end of the line.

“Bill, it's Nancy. I tried calling the house, but there was no answer.” Her tone was terse, a little accusatory, but also nervous. Bill could understand that. He wasn't feeling very settled either.

“I wasn't at the house. I'm staying with a friend, so I'm not stuck sleeping on the floor.” There was no anger in his voice. It was a simple statement of fact. “I assumed you would call here. We have some things we need to talk about.”

“I'm not coming back.” Nancy blurted out.

“I know,” Bill replied, his voice mild. “But we we still have things to discuss – Brian, the house.”

“I don't care about the house.” She sounded angry now, and Bill wasn't sure why. _Maybe she expected more of a reaction from me. That has to hurt a little, to leave your husband and find out that he doesn't really mind._

“Then lets get together and talk about it. We can meet somewhere neutral, or we can discuss it after Brian's next appointment. I'm assuming I'm still expected to be there.” He started to feel calmer. The way forward was clear. He just needed Nancy to talk to him, so they could make some decisions.

“Perhaps this should be done through lawyers.”

“I don't see why it should be. Nance, I'm not out to fight you. Neither of us needs to shell out the money for a lawyer, if we're both willing to work things out like adults.” The specter of court dates and custody battles briefly hung in front of him. That was the worst case scenario he longed to avoid.

She was silent for a long moment. “You're taking this awfully well.”

“I've had a few days to think, and it doesn't benefit anyone to fight.” He carefully considered what to say next. “We haven't been really happy for awhile. Maybe this needed to happen.”

Silence, then, “I'll talk to you at Brian's appointment. You are expected to be there. Where can I reach you?”

He gave her Holden's phone number without telling her whose it was. Bill wasn't sure whether or not she'd recognize his voice over the phone, but he also wasn't sure it mattered. However, he still didn't want to bring Holden into this mess. It would be easier for him and Nancy to tie up their loose ends, if she wasn't hurt and furious over Bill's infidelity. She'd have to know at some point because of Brian, but he sensed this wasn't the time. She was already looking for something to be angry about, and he didn't plan on giving her any ammunition with the separation still fresh. 

Friday came, and he didn't quite know what to expect when he saw her. He didn't know how she was going to behave towards him, and he didn't know how he would feel seeing her and Brian. Nancy was cool and guarded, but not openly hostile. Whatever anger she carried with her remained locked inside. It seemed that she might have been experiencing some of the same confused feelings as Bill.

“Good to see you back, Bill.” Moritz greeted him. “I can't impress upon you enough the importance of you being here.”

“Don't worry, I have every intention of continuing to show up.” He reassured the psychiatrist. 

“Nancy, Bill, whatever might be going on in your personal life, it's very important that Brian has stability and feels safe. He needs both his parents. If you aren't living together, I would strongly urge you to figure out how you plan to handle visitation.” He looked back and forth between them, trying to gauge the state of their relationship. “And please keep him out of any disagreements you might be having. Children shouldn't have to deal with adult issues.”

“Oh, we would never do that.” Nancy hurried to reassure him. Bill thought her reaction seemed like an honest one.

“Of course not.” Bill agreed. 

“Good. Glad to hear it.” 

“I need to think about what Dr. Moritz said, about visitation,” Nancy began after they had been dismissed, so Moritz could talk to Brian. “I want him to get settled in our new home before I start shipping him back and forth.” She paused, hesitating. “And you need to figure out whether or not you can handle him on your own.”

_Ouch._ Bill thought. _I may not deserve father of the year, but he's still my son._ He also wasn't going to be alone, but this was definitely not the time to bring up Holden.

“And you need to get settled too.” She added as if to soften the previous blow. “I don't want the house – all I've wanted to do was get out of that neighborhood. You can decide what to do with it.”

“And you know I'll help financially support Brian. We'll keep him on my health insurance?”

Nancy nodded. “Yes, that would be best.” Her expression softened somewhat, and she seemed sad. “I never expected things to turn out like this.”

“No one gets married assuming they'll get divorced.” Bill pointed out gently, thinking back to his wedding day with a bittersweet pang. He had been a bundle of nerves and full of hope for the future. They had both entered the union with honest intentions, but sometimes good intentions weren't enough. 

She turned towards him, studying his face. “It didn't have to be this way.” Some of the hardness had crept back into her tone.

Bill just shook his head. “I think maybe it did, it just took us a long time to realize it.” _And part of that_ is _my fault. I knew what road I was going down after the interview with Brudos. I just didn't want to face the next step. If I had, there wouldn't have been infidelity, and who knows what might have been different._ He didn't say any of this to Nancy. He didn't want to hurt her more than he had to.

“You weren't committed enough.” Nancy accused, trying to dredge up anger to chase away the hurt. “If you just could have been here...”

“Maybe I wasn't, but I did the best that I could. Send me the papers, and I'll sign them.”

Nancy shook her head in disbelief. “It's like you don't even care.”

“Nance, that's not true. Of course I care, but this wasn't going to work out. Holding on to it isn't going to help anyone. It's better to let it go. I'll see you Friday.”

“Friday,” she echoed. 

He drove back to Holden's building. It still felt odd not driving back to the house, and he found himself turning the wrong way on autopilot. Holden must have just beaten him back to the apartment. He had lost the jacket and tie, but was still wearing his dress shirt and trousers with the shirt unbuttoned at the neck and untucked from his pants. Bill thought he looked particularly cute like that. He kissed Holden on the lips. “I have something I need to discuss with you.” He slipped his arms around the omega, and pulled him close, letting himself be comforted by the sweet pheromones he gave off.

“Oh?” Holden replied, giving him a squeeze back. “Did everything go OK? With Nancy?”

“Yeah, as good as it could go under the circumstances. So far everything's been fairly civil, so that's good.” He took a step back from Holden, so he could converse more easily.

“Nancy doesn't want the house. There's too many bad memories for her there, and she's leaving it up to me to figure out what to do with it. I'm in favor of keeping it. It's easier that way, and when Brian comes to visit it will be familiar for him.” He rested his hands on his mate's shoulders. “But I'm not the only one involved in this decision. You are too.”

“Oh, I guess I am. It makes sense for you to keep it.” 

“But would you want to live there too?” Bill went on, seeing Holden not quite grasp what he was getting at. “It's over with Nancy. I don't have to go running back to her every night.”

“Oh! Of course.” Holden smiled, leaning in to kiss Bill on the mouth. “I don't have any attachment to this place. It's just been where I sleep.”

“Good.” Bill pulled him back into a firm embrace. “There's something else. I may not be married to Nancy anymore, or I won't be shortly, but I'm still Brian's father. Are you comfortable having a young child in your life?” Bill knew the answer to this already. His mate was well aware he had a child, and he had never expressed any discomfort around the subject. However, Bill needed everything laid out clearly, because things with Nancy could get messy once she knew Holden was in the picture.

“I'm aware you have a son. I've met him before, remember? Of course I'm fine with that.”

“That's what I thought, but I had to make sure you understood. I don't know what visitation is going to be yet. Nancy will have primary custody, but I don't see her fighting to keep him away from me. She just needs reassurance that he'll be OK without her there.” 

“Is she going to be upset that I'm around her son?”

“I don't know. I'm letting things cool down a little before I bring it up. She's going to have to be OK with it.” Holden was his mate, and alphas and omegas mated for life. Holden wasn't going anywhere no matter what Nancy thought about their relationship. On the flip side, it meant a more stable home life for Brian. There would be no breaking up and moving on to other partners.

* * *

Moving Holden into the house didn't prove difficult, since his own apartment wasn't heavily furnished. That left them looking to fill in with new furniture, or in some cases new used. They managed to get things comfortable, if not as well matched as it had been under Nancy's careful eye. Things had taken on a surreal cast as Bill was finally able to move forward with Holden, but still couldn't shake the old memories of his and Nancy's lives together. Bill had no regrets where taking a mate was concerned. What happened, had needed to happen, but it didn't erase what had come before either.

Living with Holden was an interesting experience. They had of course spent a great deal of time traveling together, sharing motel rooms and long car rides. Bill was aware of a number of his mate's habits. When it came to sharing a living space, he was neat, clean, and took up so little space he was almost not there at all. That was, of course, disregarding his actual presence and his propensity to talk at length about whatever happened to catch his attention. Not to mention his tendency to sprawl across Bill when he slept, and the pleasant scent of omega pheromones that gently clung to whatever piece of furniture he had been sitting on. He wondered again what lurked in this mate's past, and how it reflected in his habits. Did he practically erase himself from the living space due to natural minimalistic tendencies, or was it a response to his environment growing up? As much as Holden rattled on, nothing brought on a change of topic faster or a more useless circuitous answer than asking him these things directly. And his scent would become anxious, causing Bill to drop the subject. However, Bill continued to store these little data points as he played a private game of connect the dots. 

A few weeks after they had moved back into the house, Bill was lounging on a Sunday morning. He listened to his mate puttering around with what could only be described as nervous activity. “I need to give my parents our number,” he said.

“OK, they'd probably want to know it.” Bill agreed, not sure why this warranted an announcement, or why Holden had waited this long.

“Hi Mom,” Holden said, holding the receiver with one hand and coiling the the cord absently around his other wrist. Wind, unwind, wind, unwind. Bill watched him over the top of his newspaper.

“Yeah, I just called to give you my new number...I moved.” A long moment of silence, and then, “with an alpha I'm seeing.” Holden made a face as he listened. “Yes, he's an alpha....Bill, I work with him. Uh huh. I haven't seen her for some time – it didn't work out...yes, I know. Mom!” Though he couldn't hear her half of the conversation, the exclamation combined with Holden's expression suggested she had said something embarrassing. _Parents, embarrassing their children since the dawn of time._ Bill thought with some amusement.

“It's fine. Really...” There was a long pause, and Holden's posture went stiff, though he was standing so that Bill couldn't see his face. “Yes, I was planning to, things have been busy this spring... Uh huh....you really don't need to...I'm positive...” Bill listened, attempting to fill in the other half of the conversation, but while some bits were obvious, others weren't. He gathered Mrs. Ford was concerned about her son's decision. Holden gave her the number and hung up. He suddenly realized Bill was watching him. “She's just surprised.” He sounded particularly unconvincing.

“She doesn't like you shacking up with an alpha.”

Holden shrugged as if the conversation was nothing. “She'll get used to the idea. She has too.” 

Bill had a lot of practice when it came to seeing through Holden's bullshit, and he saw right through its current iteration. His mother was unhappy with the current situation, and it upset Holden. One more dot.


	3. Uncontrollable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holden has something he wants to share with Bill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, everybody - I appreciate all of you very much. I'm going to keep posting on Tuesdays, so look for the next installment in a week.

“There's something I've been meaning to ask you about,” Holden began, nerves clawing at his belly. He had been considering this since he returned from Atlanta, and the unpleasant conversation with his mother had only hardened his resolve.

Bill glanced over as he stopped the car at a light. “Yes?” He finally replied as the silence stretched out awkwardly.

“Well, provided nothing comes up where we need to be out of town, I was considering not taking the Dexaphil this time, which will be soon – I mean, I'm on birth control anyway – green light.” He prompted his mate who was staring at him. “And I thought we could...” He realized that he was starting to babble.

“Damn, you're going to spring that on me while driving?” Bill asked, caught by surprise.

“So you don't want to?” He didn't think Bill would refuse. As far as Holden knew, this wasn't an offer alpha's typically refused.

“No! Of course I do. What alpha doesn't fantasize about knotting his mate?” Bill went back to watching the road, occasionally stealing a glance at Holden. “I'm just surprised. I had the impression that you wished your heat cycle didn't exist.”

Holden closed his eyes in thought, feeling the sway of the car as it took them home. Their home. “Normally yes. But I haven't experienced one since I was twenty, and I hadn't been with an alpha then. I'm assuming the experience is different when you have an alpha.”

“I think that's a fair assumption,” Bill agreed.

“It was hellish before. It would be nice if it could be something other than hellish,” Holden admitted as Bill parked the car. 

“Ah, I see.”

Holden caught Bill's knowing tone. “See what?”

“It's been something about yourself that you view as negative, and you'd like to turn it into something positive. It makes sense.” 

Holden climbed out of the car, tempted to try and deny Bill's theory, but he really couldn't. Bill was right. He had grown up with the dark cloud of his heat cycle hanging over his life, ready to set in and disrupt whatever he was doing and remind him in the most embarrassing ways possible that he was different. _Maybe it's time to try and lay that to rest._ He thought. “Probably.” He answered as Bill closed the door behind them. “And I trust you.”

Bill was quiet for a moment, before turning Holden to face him and kissing the omega on the mouth, strong arms wrapping around Holden's body. Bill pressed his lips to Holden's forehead before finally letting him go. 

Later that night they lounged on the sofa watching the news, Holden's legs draped over Bill's lap. “I have something to ask you now,” Bill said, running his hand idly along his mate's leg. “Do you want me to bite you?”

Holden hesitated for a moment. He liked the idea of a bond bite. It was a visible symbol of their relationship and just as binding as a wedding ring, more so in some ways. Being bitten hard enough to leave a permanent scar was a little intimidating. He knew it wasn't supposed to hurt during heat, or if it did, it was in a good way. Considering how haywire his body went, it didn't surprise him that might be the case.

“You can say no, if you don't want me too.” Bill reassured him.

Holden unconsciously rubbed the meaty part where neck met shoulder that a bite would sit. “Can I think about it?”

“Of course.”

* * *

“Holden, are you even paying attention?” Wendy asked in the middle of their meeting.

“Um, yes. Sorry, I just drank too much coffee this morning.” _That's a terrible excuse. What am I thinking?_

She gave him a look and continued on with their ever evolving system of classification. If he had to, Holden could bring himself to explain to Wendy what was going on. However, there was no way in hell he wanted Gregg to know he was off his medication, so Bill could fuck him silly. He tried not to be distracting, but it was difficult to sit still. His concentration was shot, and he was hungry again. He had forgotten about that part. In fact, he had an entire week of increasing symptoms leading up to the main event. At their very onset, he normally started taking Dexaphil, allowing him to trade the more obnoxious signs of upcoming heat for fatigue. Despite the annoying nature of his current state, his scent wouldn't change in any appreciable way to anyone but Bill for several more days allowing him to continue working up until. He tried his best to set it all aside and focus.

That night as he lay in bed with Bill curled around him, he revisited the conversation they had some weeks before. “Bill?”

“Hmmm?” Came the drowsy response.

“I want you to bite me.” He could feel Bill shift against him, fully waking up.

“You sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure.” Bill's arms tightened around him.

The next day was much the same as the last with Holden unable to concentrate and wanting to eat everything in sight. He had to admit that nerves were setting in, mostly due to old associations. Experiencing all the early symptoms brought him back to the time when he was a kid. He presented at twelve, which wasn't unusual. That was around the age the scent glands started to function, and alphas started becoming very interesting. There was false heat with milder symptoms and no scent change. He remembered mostly being hungry and feeling spacey and restless. That had been bearable. At fourteen he experienced something closer to actual heat. Again, the scent glands weren't producing enough of the chemical that sent alphas into rut, but along with the other symptoms came sexual need. Not overpowering, but enough to be difficult to ignore. That's when things got...awkward. A year later, and fifteen brought on full blow heat forcing him home from school. He didn't have an alpha, he had very little privacy, and without an alpha to mate him, it lasted three days. Three awful days, three times a year for five years until Dexaphil came on the market. Before that there was only Penamax, available on an as needed basis and never to minors. Overuse caused fertility issues, and the side effects were hefty. He used to tell himself it was only nine days a year that were really bad, but it always felt like so much more as the threat of heat loomed over his life threatening him with clawing need, messy slick, and loss of control.

Wendy pulled him aside. “Are you all right? You seem...off these past couple of days. How is your anxiety level?”

_Ah, so that's what she's thinking._ He didn't want her worrying that he was about to have another panic attack, so he decided on the truth. “No, I'm not taking a suppressant this time...it's just normal symptoms.”

“You aren't trying to get pregnant are you?” She seemed alarmed, and Holden figured it was concern for their work being disrupted.

“No, no. I'm on birth control.” He quickly reassured her. “I won't be in tomorrow anyway, since I've taken a few days off.”

Wendy looked calmer at the words 'birth control.' “Should you be here now?”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just...not tomorrow.” Holden didn't want to go into anymore details, and Wendy seemed happy to know that her colleague was going through something normal and not on the verge of some kind of breakdown. 

Not tomorrow seemed an accurate prediction when his clothing started feeling scratchy and uncomfortable as his skin became more sensitive. Fed up with the feel of his t-shirt rubbing on him, he struggled out of the offending garment.

“Are you OK?” Bill asked from his spot next to him on the sofa.

“Clothes are uncomfortable.” He tried to cuddle up to Bill, but his shirt was equally annoying. He sat back and took that off too, much to Bill's amusement. He then pulled himself onto Bill's lap, pressing against soft warm skin, and pressed his face into the alpha's neck.

“Better?” Laughter crept into his voice.

“Yes,” came the muffled reply. “You're not going to work tomorrow.”

“I didn't think I was. You smell too nice.” A hand gently rubbed Holden's back. “Are you nervous? You smell nervous.”

Holden turned his head so that his cheek rested on Bill's shoulder and considered how to answer. “Yes,” he finally admitted. “This reminds me of when I was a kid and didn't have a mate, and lived at home with my parents and didn't have any privacy. It was genuinely awful.”

“Just you and your hand?” Bill gently teased, kissing Holden's bare shoulder.

“Huh. Hardly. My mother never would have stood for it, if she caught me. You've heard that story before.” 

“I don't think – Oh, I think I heard a version of it.” He pressed his lips to his mate's skin again, and Holden's eyes half closed in pleasure.

“Well, a beta wasn't going to relate to the unredacted version, and that's a lot of information anyway. But, my mother wasn't having any of that. It wasn't 'normal'.” Holden wasn't sure why he was telling Bill this. It was the kind of information he usually kept to himself, but his thinking was growing fuzzy around the edges. 

“That's ridiculous, of course it's normal. How else is an omega kid supposed to get any relief?” Bill's voice was indignant. 

Holden snuggled in tighter to Bill, soothed by the alpha's pheromones. “That wasn't the point, I guess. It was a long time ago now.”

That night Holden curled up naked against Bill. He saw no reason why he shouldn't be comfortable while he slept, and right now comfortable was being skin to skin with his alpha. He wasn't feeling nervous or anticipatory, just a pleasant sort of haze that was aware of the comfort and safety of his surroundings and the closeness of his mate. He woke up first the next morning, driven out of his warm nest by the needs of his bladder. He used the bathroom, brushed his teeth, pulled on a pair of pajama pants and wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water. He leaned against the counter drinking, still feeling foggy. He had every intention of going back to bed for awhile. He didn't like being away from Bill. Desire rippled through his gut at the thought of his alpha, and he felt himself slick – a lot. _Oh shit._

* * *

Bill found himself in the interesting position of having no personal experience to draw from. He had never been around an omega going into heat. Rutting wasn't something to take lightly as it brought the possibility of pregnancy and emotional entanglement that an alpha didn't enter into casually. Or at least, shouldn't enter into casually. In this case, Holden had more experience than he did, because at least he had lived through multiple unsuppressed cycles. Bill just observed with a mixture of bemusement and anticipation as Holden developed the appetite of a growing teenager and couldn't sit still unless he was physically plastered to Bill. However, he trusted nature. They had been designed a certain way for a reason, and alphas and omegas had functioned just fine together over the course of human history. His mate was currently experiencing things that marked him as a healthy adult omega. An extremely sexy, healthy, adult, omega.

Especially when Bill was faced with him after walking out of the bedroom. “Bill?” He whimpered, his face flushed and an obvious erection tenting the loose fabric of his pajama pants. And his scent... Bill's belly tightened with arousal as he reached for the other man.

“I'm right here, sweetheart.” It was a sure sign of how far gone Holden was when he didn't object to the endearment. Bill pulled him close, nuzzling against the omega's neck, drinking him in while Holden did his best to wrap himself around Bill's body. 

“Fuck, baby, you smell so good.” He eased the pajama pants over Holden's hips and very hard cock, feeling the dampness from his slick that had trickled down the omega's thighs. At that moment, Bill's world narrowed to nothing but his mate, and pure animal need.

He pulled Holden back into the bedroom and pushed him down on to the bed before stripping off his own sleep clothes and joining him. He kissed his mouth, hands traveling all over the flushed, hot skin while Holden moaned and writhed under him. “Please Bill,” he begged, trying to roll over to offer himself to his mate.

Bill let him reposition himself, swearing again as he ran his hands over Holden's ribs and flanks, wanting nothing but to sink into the tight, wet, heat of the omega's body. Bill gripped him by the hips, and tugged him back towards him, fingers squeezing and parting the flesh of his ass. He normally would have spent time involved in foreplay, but he didn't have the wherewithal to hold back, and Holden didn't seem to want him to. In truth, Holden's body was made to take an alpha's cock and didn't need the preparation. He just normally enjoyed it. Bill groaned with relief as he thrust deep into his mate.

“Oh, oh, oh,” Holden moaned. “More, please, more,” he stuttered out, pressing back into Bill.

The omega felt so good around his dick, wet and hot. He felt good, he smelled good, and the sounds he made filled Bill's belly with liquid heat. Hearing him beg for more was the sweetest sound Bill had ever heard. He pumped steadily into the willing body as Holden ground his hips, trying to get as much of his mate inside of him as he could. Bill's knot swelled, increasing his own need, if that was even possible. He pushed forward, more slowly, aware even through the haze of rut that he was asking a lot of Holden's body. But nature knew best, and nature provided. He stretched to take all of the alpha without any sign of distress.

Holden's hands gripped the sheets as he whimpered with pleasure, until his body bucked and arched through climax. Bill didn't last long after that. It was too intense, and he positioned Holden on his side, so he could comfortably spoon him. They would be effectively stuck together for a little while – natures way of improving the chances that Bill's cum would stay where it was supposed to and hopefully make a baby. That last bit was out of the question of course.

Bill stroked his side and rubbed his hand over his belly. “You're so good, baby.” He murmured, feeling relaxed and comfortable with his mate in his arms.

“Mmmm...” came the response, as Holden took possession of Bill's hand and entwined their fingers.

Eventually, Bill was able to disengage from his mate, and consider his other needs. He doubted Holden was capable of doing much on his own. “I think you should drink some water,” Bill said, running his hand through Holden's mussed hair. “I'll get you some.”

“I'll be right back.” He reassured his mate who made a sound of protest as Bill headed for the bedroom door. Not that Bill wanted to be away from him either. Every instinct screamed at him to stay close to the omega, to make sure he was protected, safe.

Holden had stayed put, sitting up in the center of the bed. “Here, sweetheart.” Bill offered him the water and slid his arm around. He now fully understood why Holden might find heat frightening. Bill had never seen him so completely vulnerable. Intellectually, he understood that this is what happened, but it was different seeing Holden stripped of everything but the need to mate.

Bill's own instincts were powerful. He wouldn't have been able to hold back even if he had wanted to, and leaving his mate's side was a nonoption. However, he did retain a greater degree of functioning. But then he had to, someone had to take care of Holden who was now nuzzling up against him in a way that filled Bill with lust. He took the now empty glass from Holden and set it on the bedside table, so he could turn his attention to kissing the omega who was clearly feeling needy again. This time Bill pushed him down on his back.

“I want to see your pretty face.” He stroked his mate's flushed cheek.

“Mmmm...that's fine.” His tongue flicked out to lick Bill's forefinger as it brushed over his lips, and he wrapped his legs high up around Bill's sides. Bill pushed his legs back and apart, kissing Holden's mouth as he slid inside. Nothing felt as good as knotting his mate, and Holden appeared to be in agreement with this as he tilted his head back, eyes shut tightly, his lips parted in a moan. Bill ran his lips down the length of his exposed throat, nipping and sucking at his neck and shoulders. He gathered Holden to him, the omega wrapping his arms around him, and pulled him up so that Bill was sitting up with Holden straddling his lap. Bill licked the join of his neck and shoulder, wanting to bite, wanting to claim his mate. He sucked the spot hard before biting down hard. Holden cried out, but not in pain, his back arching as he climaxed. 

Bill held him securely on his lap while he waited for his knot to go down. Holden's body was limp and relaxed, draped around the alpha, his cheek resting on Bill's shoulder. Instinct told Bill he should lick the wound on Holden's shoulder clean, so he did. A shiver ran through the omega. When he could physically separate himself from Holden, he gently laid the omega back down. Bill kissed him gently on the mouth and laid down beside him. 

They drowsed for awhile until Holden woke him up, pressing desperately against him, and that was how it went for an indeterminate amount of time. Sleeping, sex, seeing to personal needs, making sure Holden stayed hydrated, more sex, more sleep and onward until they both fell into a deeper sleep.

* * *

Holden woke up laying on flat out on his belly with the top sheet tangled around his lower legs. He turned his head to see Bill curled up next to him. He blinked away the remaining haze. He wasn't sure what time of day it was, or what day it was. He was physically tired, his shoulder was sore, and he was very sticky.

“Bill,” he said. 

His mate jerked and opened his eyes. “Hmm? Sweetheart?”

“Why is it always sweetheart with alphas?” Holden grumbled.

“OK, you're back. You feel OK?” Bill asked, stretching.

“Yeah, but I need a shower, but that means getting up.” Holden sighed, torn between wanting to lay still and doze, and feeling fairly gross. “I don't think I have a choice.” He groaned and slowly sat up, suddenly feeling stiff and sore in more places than just his shoulder. “Join me?”

“Sure.” Bill hauled himself up. It was a good thing that he was accompanying Holden, as the omega found himself quite wobbly as he limped to the bathroom. He felt Bill's hands at his waist, steadying him. “Did I hurt you?” 

“No, I'm fine. Or I will be once I get cleaned up. What day is this? It's Friday, isn't it?” He asked as Bill helped him into the shower. He hissed as the water hit the bite on his shoulder.

“I did hurt you, didn't I.” Bill sounded concerned as he wiped away the streaks of dried blood from Holden's chest.

He shook his head. “No, it felt really good. Made me come.” He leaned lightly against Bill, pleased with the bite and the situation in general. He ran an appreciative hand over Bill's belly and hip. Bill gently pushed him upright.

“Here, hold still.” Holden closed his eyes and relaxed as Bill washed the stickiness and dried sweat from his body. He felt the alpha kiss his forehead. He opened his eyes, rubbing the water away and and returned the favor. He had always liked touching Bill. He quickly washed his hair, wincing as soap dripped into the wound. Bill gently rinsed it off pressed gentle kisses to it. It should have hurt, but it didn't. It felt nice.

“I think there's some gauze in the first aid kit,” Bill said.

Once finished, Holden pulled on a pair of clean pajama pants, and Bill patched up his shoulder with a gauze pad and medical tape. He pulled on an old worn t-shirt, and continued to feel tired and sore, but also wonderfully relaxed. 

“Go lay down.” Bill gently shooed him into the living room so he could throw the bedding in the wash. Holden curled up on the sofa, feeling like he should be helping, but it was also difficult to move.

“Do we know what day it is?” Holden asked again as soon as he felt Bill sit down on the other end of the couch.

“It's 12:32 on Friday. You hungry? You didn't eat at all yesterday.”

“Neither did you, I don't think.” Holden was admittedly a little fuzzy about some of the particulars.

“I'm about to now. This was harder on you than on me.” He added.

“Do you know how much I ate over the course of the week?” Silence greeted this. “I'll try and eat something. I probably should.” He admitted.

He managed to get down some eggs and toast before going back to collapse on the sofa with his head pillowed on Bill's lap.

“So how was heat for you this time?” Bill asked now that his mate was more coherent.

Holden though for a minute. “Pleasant,” he finally answered. “You were here, I felt safe, and there wasn't anything to worry about, so I could just enjoy really good sex. Though, I could do without being constantly hungry and my clothes feeling like they were going to rub my skin off.” He added. 

“I wasn't sure how aware you were, or how much you remembered,” Bill admitted. “You seemed pretty far gone.”

“I was completely aware. I just didn't care about anything else,” he replied. “That's what it's like. You know what's going on, but can't concentrate on anything but sex and don't care. Only without an alpha it's really stressful, because you have to try and control it, but it isn't really controllable...and you don't feel safe.” Bill rubbed his hand back and forth along Holden's ribs, a soothing gesture.

“You would do this again in the future?”

Holden smiled against Bill's thigh. “Yes, not every time – it is a lot, but I want to again.”

Bill patted his hip then gave it a squeeze in answer. “Pleased with yourself?” Holden asked. His mate was giving off smug, content alpha vibes.

“Very.”


End file.
